Today, I ask you to consider the following two questions, ‘is your life a masquerade‘ and ‘what if any, masks do you hide your true self behind and for what reason‘?
Speaking from personal experience, I know that I have created many masks throughout my lifetime. Thankfully, I am peeling these protective layers back, one by one, to return to my true authentic self.
Is your life a masquerade?
During our lifetime, we will without any doubt, experience ill feeling and trauma. Therefore, it’s only natural that we build a protective wall around us to prevent us from being hurt again. Unfortunately, until we realise what we our doing, chances are we will become a version of ourselves that we don’t like.
Below, I will give you a few examples of what I’ve done over the years to protect myself.
- Hidden my true feelings for fear of being judged
- Not spoken out when feeling most vulnerable
- Put a brave face on without healing my true feelings
- Avoided places and situations due to a feeling of impending doom
- Not asked for help for fear of being taken advantage of
- Not released my sorrow as I’ve been conditioned to see it as a weakness
- Not to fully trust a person until you really know them
- Saying yes when inside I’m screaming ‘no’!
I’m sure that I can come up with more examples. The point is, I was living a life as a masquerade, always feeling vulnerable, scared to be true authentic self.
Dropping the mask
Eventually, I succumbed to a defining moment in my life and the realisation that there had to be more to life than this. Simply existing was no longer an option.
Firstly, I began listening to my higher self and heeding her call of love.
Secondly, I sought professional help, which led to a diagnosis of General Anxiety Disorder. As a result, I began learning how to challenge irrational fear and life began opening up.
Thirdly, I foud the practice of Reiki, or did it find me?
Becoming my true self
My practice of Reiki has allowed me to peel back the decades of hurt and let go of any negative feelings. Stilling my mind provides me with clear thinking. Additionally, the practice of being mindful, more present allows me to see the magic of life that is always surrounding me.
Life comes full circle
Looking back on my photography work, I love seeing how my path was developing.
Photography was my escapism from the mundane. When photographing graveyards, my mind was peaceful due to being present. My senses of sight, sound, smell, and, listening were in full operating mode. Therefore, I was most certainly not in my mind replaying the past or catastrophising about my future, hence, amplifying those negative feelings.
In addition, my sense of energy, without knowing what I know now, was also playing a role. My objective with my photography was to produce something emotive in the viewer. Of course, another objective of mine was to challenge the viewer about life and death.
What does your soul say about you?
Indeed, I’m now looking back at my love of portrait photography and linking this to the masquerade of life.
What is hiding beyond the surface and what are we trully thinking?
Can the lense detect if your life is a masquerade or is it the eyes of the viewer?
Of course, I cannot forget that I take great inspiration from my love of gothic horror, especially all those things that may or may not be true. I’m talking about spirit, vampires and ghosts. Subsequently, I feel more grown up now due to my energy healing and spiritual services that I offer.
Summarising life is a masquerade
Are my photography days over?
I actually don’t know.
Currently, I have no desire to be photographing graveyards and spooky places. Without a doubt, this is because I’m more present than I have ever been. I have a daily self-care routine that nourishes and nutures my mind, body, and soul. In the past, my lense provided me with stillness for a few hours and then, I ventured back into living my life as a masquerade, allowing all that negative energy to continue building within me and dminishing my true light.
My photography will always remain important to me and I’m still thinking of touring the old graveyards of Scotland.