This might resonate with some of you, or it may well make you laugh. Either way, I don’t really mind what you think as you read my ramblings about my mental health and finding myself again.
This series of photographs is titled the, Shadows of Heysham.
My Mental Health Battle
To bring you up to date, I’ve been quiet lately on the photography side of things as I had lost my passion and motivation for something that I loved so much.
I’ve had to come to terms with a lot of things lately, especially since suffering with anxiety.
At one point I considered that perhaps my Gothic horror photography is an expression of my poor mental health as lots of people consider it to be dark and morbid. I also thought that perhaps it was the reason why I had fallen and hit the ground hard with anxiety.
To make matters worse, I had also been diagnosed with GRAVES DISEASE, which I laughed off to people who I told and explained that it’s got nothing to do with being in graveyards. Deep down though, I did wonder, why me and how ironic.
Graves disease is connected with my thyroid problem, which I had removed in 2018 that almost killed me with sepsis and there’s another contribution to my battle with mental health issues and anxiety.
Well, I’m here to tell you that my mental health battle is VERY real, but only in my head. 🙂
Since 2017 following diagnosis of General Anxiety Disorder, I’ve been working on improving my mental health.
I’m now a reiki master and I’ve learned all about chakras, meditation, mindfulness and well-being and I love it! I’m also going to embark on becoming a certified life coach and move back to Heysham.
As I love teaching, my mission is to help anyone struggling like I did via Gemstone Healing and this is the reason why I had left my photography in the shadows until now.
If you’re still reading this far, then thank you for taking interest. The biggest lesson I have to tell you all is…
BE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT and SPEAK UP!
If you want to know more about the above and how I can help, then please check out Gemstone Healing or send me a message.
Shadows of Heysham
I only took these photographs of the churchyard at St Peter’s Church in Heysham mainly to please Mark. His support for me and encouragement to do the things that I once loved doing means a lot to me.
I have always returned back to Heysham Village when feeling lost as this is the place where I feel I belong.
Life comes full circle and I’ll tell you why through the pictures below. It’s a fascinating journey and one that has to be shared. I want you to know that you must share your troubles, it serves no purpose bottling things up. Journaling, just like what I do with all of my blogs, is an excellent method of releasing emotions, so please try it. I do a gratitude journal every morning before I do anything!
This is St Peter’s Churchyard in Heysham where my ancestors, the Blacow’s are buried. It’s also where I used to spend a lot of time alone as a young girl (7 – 9 yrs old), FEELING at one with myself and with nature before life got very real.
It’s so quiet here and you can get lost in time while listening to the birds singing and looking at the dramatic views. There’s so much history contained within this churchyard and it’s a very special place. I feel safe and fully grounded when I’m in Heysham.
When we are on our spiritual journey and we are trying to find our purpose in life, or trying to fix ourselves, we are prompted to go back in time and remember when we last felt at peace with ourselves and what it felt like. When you remember, you FEEL it again!
Heysham is this place for me and it’s the reason I originally took up photography all those years ago.
I wanted to take photographs so that when I got back home to Warrington at the time, I could look at the photographs and feel those emotions. Little did I know all those years ago how important this was for my mental well-being.
This feeling of being at one with myself, the peace that I feel when in this graveyard is what I strive to find now, hence it coming full circle.
Everything in my life is turning full circle and I’m living life again and I’m so happy! Of course I’m only human and I do have small lapses, but I’m well aware of when I’m in a negative frame of mind. Being observant and in the present moment helps me to shift my energy back to being positive.
I’ve always loved taking photographs that are mysterious, but intriguing and I find them to be beautiful. You need balance in your life, otherwise you will suffer.
The photograph above has allowed me to understand why I adore imagery that is full of mystery and dark shadows. It’s obviously connected with the way I view life, but it has also reminded me about having balance. Things in life happen for a reason and we must understand that for every incident or mishap, there will always be an opposite, something that we have neglected to think about.
Consider this question, what is hidden in the shadows?
What’s in the shadows?
It’s the unknown!
Its what’s hidden to us that either we don’t know or we refuse to see.
We can avoid our feelings and emotions, but only for so long as they will resurface like mine did with the anxiety. This is why it’s important to live in the present moment, with balance and not be worrying about what might not happen in the future or lost in the past that you can’t change.
Going back to my roots
Heysham is where I belong. It’s where I grew up and it’s where my ancestors are buried. Look at the views above out to Morecambe and the Lake District beyond. They are simply breathtaking!
Mark is currently working on my family tree and it’s exciting.
My great, great aunt Polly Blacow is pictured above and below and it’s thanks to Heysham Heritage and Katherine Gregson that I’ve learned about her. Katherine finishes her article with the following words that I would like to share with you. You can read her full account and find out more about Heysham by clicking here to visit Heysham Heritage’s website.
After writing about Polly, my thoughts are that during her life she was not recognised for her achievements in her very hard working life, but now through this knowledge, everyone will understand for future years ahead what life was like for a person like PollyK. Gregson November 2010
I hope that you visit Heysham sometime and stand in the churchyard and experience the beauty of this place and I hope that you’re inspired to journal or take up meditation, mindfulness or get some reiki. It’s done wonders for me! If you would like to see more photographs of Heysham, click here.